So as the reconstruction process proceeds, I realized (or actually was made to realize) that I let my mind get in the way too much. I hesitate and once I decide to go for it the oppurtunity is gone. I am going to GO HARD in EVERY aspect of my life. I deserve better then what and where I am. Having suffered to much trying to please others. Its time to be greedy. Not going to rest. Time to put in work. If I want it I will get it. Plain and simple. Be ready. If you get in my way you will be cut off from communicating with me completely, I refuse to let people to get in my way of happiness.